My two-year-old son is obsessed with "Lechu N'ranena" ("Let Us Sing Joyously"), the opening song of Yerachmiel ("Rocky") Zeigler's album "Raza D'Shabbat" ("Secrets of Sabbath"). He calls it "Hashem" ("the Lord"...) and demands to hear it over... and over... and over. (Could be worse, right?) When we put it on, he immediately starts dancing, slowly turning around in circles (his steps completely on beat!) and waving his arms around. This is still beyond adorable, 13,563,984 gazillion times later.
So thanks to him, we have had ample opportunity to thoroughly memorize this album. But sometimes, you only really "hear" a song for the first time when you really need it. Such was the case with "Bli Etzev" ("Without Sorrow") yesterday. I wanted to share it with you.
The lyrics are from a prayer most of us don't even know exists between singing "Shalom Aleichem" and "Eishet Chayil" at the dinner table on Sabbath eve.
ושיויתי ה' לקראתי
שתרחמני עוד בגלותי
לגאלני, ולעורר ליבי
לעורר ליבי
לאהבתך
ואז אשמור פיקודך
פיקודיך וחוקך
בלי עצב
בלי עצב
בלי עצב, טאטע, אוי אוי
And I set God facing me
That You should show me mercy as I am still in my exile
To redeem me, and to awaken my heart
To Your love
And then I shall observe your commands
Your commands and your decrees
Without sorrow
Without sorrow
Without sorrow, Father, oh oh
Something I find very moving about these simple lines is the word לקראתי, which I translated as "facing me". It's a twist on שיויתי ה' לנגדי תמיד, "I have set God before me always", from Psalms 15:5. The word "לנגדי" can be most closely translated as "opposite me"; נגד meaning "against". The word לקראת has the opposite connotation; of something coming towards something else. לבוא לקראת, "to come towards", is a modern Hebrew expression which means to compromise or accommodate someone else and act with sensitivity and compassion for his or her needs. It embodies the chesed (lovingkindness, or yin, if you will) spirit of this poignant little prayer, which is all about God's love and our love for Him, as opposed to the din (judgement, or yang) spirit of the word "לנגדי"."As I am still in my exile," as opposed to just "exile", is clearly not just talking about the Diaspora.
"Your love" has the double meaning of being awakened to both His love for me, and my love for Him.
חוקים, "decrees", are commonly understood by the Sages as being those commandments that the Torah does not explain, such as the laws of kashrut. We are expected to follow these laws even though we do not understand them, just as we fulfill the wishes of those we truly love even when we do not understand. This is what being in a mutual relationship is about. But sometimes this can lead to frustration and despair, both in relationships between people, and in our relationship with God. We are only human and we strive to understand, especially when those decrees seem unreasonable or cause us discomfort or pain. This is a heartfelt prayer for God to help us to let go of our indignation, our arrogance, and our struggle to be right and all-knowing. These things only give us despair. It is a prayer to embrace Him in His love and trust Him that He knows what He is doing.
May we all be blessed to be awakened to His love and to observe His decrees without sorrow.
